Recently, I had a challenging decision to make. After some angst, following the steps I share below, I got clarity and made a decision I feel great about. When I shared this with the women in my coaching group, they found it really helpful…here’s hoping you will too!
Back story: I was in Dallas for a training seminar in early April. I was slated to go to Santa Barbara for additional coach training (Advanced Relationship Coach training) this weekend, but it just wasn’t sitting right. I felt pulled in two directions, both personally and professionally, and in one moment I was sure it was the best thing to go, and 5 minutes later I was sure it was the best thing to stay.
Step 1: I realized that something just wasn’t sitting right, so I started to consider my options. Should I stay or should I go?
Step 2: Because I still wasn’t sure, I got all my ducks in a row as if I were for sure going — a very complex schedule for Ben and Stuart (our dog). I didn’t want the overwhelm of logistics to affect my decision.
Step 3: I gathered information — how many tennis matches would I miss of Ben’s if I went? How did Ben feel about my going so soon after he returned from a big trip? Would he prefer getting to spend time sleeping over at his friends’ houses or having some time at home? Could I move my registration to another time for the event? Could I get my money back from the airline?
Step 4: I talked to Kathy, who is one of my best friends — and I trust her to help walk me through a decision without pushing me in one direction or another AND to help me clear my vision for my own truth.
Step 5 I was feeling a little low on the Ladder of Well-being, playing in Survive Zone, and I knew I didn’t want to make a decision from there (Don’t ever make a decision from Survive Zone if you can help it! — It will be a decision based on fear and constriction and worry, and it will keep your life small), so I knew I needed to find a way to relax and get back into Thrive Zone (from Thrive Zone, our decisions are based in love and expansion and flow — which lead to dramatically different decisions and make our lives happier!). So I played hooky for a few hours and and went to the ocean, raked for clams with John (so fun!), played with Stuart, and held my face to the sun. I got into Thrive Zone.
Throughout steps 1-4, I was equally convinced one minute I should go, and the next minute that I should not. Talking to Kathy started to shift the tide, but then the magic came when I PLAYED and got into Thrive Zone.
I had done due diligence, gathered all the information I needed, and the answer came when the sun rose back up in me and when I was laughing and smiling and feeling light and free. We are at our best at play! We have access to our own highest wisdom when we feel light. It was somewhere between clamming and watching Ben’s tennis match that day that it became clear. My place, for now, is here. So here I am.
The takeaway: one of the best things we can do to be in touch with our own highest wisdom is to make time to PLAY in our lives.
Yesterday, I had a surprise invitation to go out on a beautiful brand new 33′ boat to drive it to a boat show. Had I been on the plane to California, I would have missed out on this opportunity. I saw whales on the way, and the sun broke through the clouds, and suddenly the water went from gray to blue, blue, blue. A magic moment for sure.
There would have been magic moments in California too, but I’m full on for enjoying and relaxing into whatever transpires right here. And this afternoon, I’ll get to see Ben’s tennis match.
So I would add a Step 6: Once I made a decision, I leaned into it. I am choosing to be fully where I am, and I trust that life is unfolding exactly as it should...
Tell your brain this matters by engaging with the ideas in here — What decisions do you think this might be helpful with? Let me know! I love to hear from you.